Dear husband,

Dah lama kan kita kenal?  Tapi sedalam mana kita kenal each other? Im sorry for breaking your heart in the past.  Idk,  you told me you were heartbroken but I did a little research about your past and maybe what I did wasnt that bad or maybe you didnt want it to look bad so you kept it to yourself maybe?  Sometimes I feel stupid for being jealous over the past.  Like who you've dated and how hard you fell for them.  I wanted to feel the same way too.  But after I did a lot of thinking,  you and your ex..your story stopped there.  Ours will forever continue until my last breath. Im sorry for being a psycho.  I should be thankful for what you've done for me and appreciate you more.  It breaks my heart when you told me that sometimes you feel unappreciated.  I let my emotions and stupid insecurities get in the way.  Im truly sorry for that.  I enjoy your company, i love being with you.  I love you for who you are.  I love the things you did for me,  even for the smallest thing.  Please stay.  Please annoy me for the rest of my life.  Please have something to hold on when you feel like leaving me,  or giving up on me.  I know you have never thought of leaving me but who knows in the future if you're done with my nonsense.  Maybe im jealous about your past because i was hoping for you to save me from those mistakes that I have made and i want you to be the one for me in the past instead you go on creating memories on your own.  I tried coming back to you,  many times but it seems like i dont give you the chance to understand me enough or to make you stay for good.  Lets fall in love.  Like we never did.  Lets make new memories that will make us forget about the past.  Lets be the best person that we can ever be and love ourselves for the changes that we have made.

Dear husband,

I love you with all my heart.  I have many things to be sorry for and I will make it up to you.  Im leaving my past behind, and walking straight to your arms as a new person.  Nothing will ever break us.  Only a changed of heart and death will. Im new on being a wife.  Yes I have been married before but this time,  its different.  I have feelings for you, i have hope in us.  We have kids together.  Please dont ever give up on us.  Im still getting used to being married,  being your wife.  I hope time will be on my side and patience on yours.  I have never ever loved someone like i love you before, i swear.  Im sorry for being such a mess.  Im sorry for making you think that i am this way because of my past,  because of what others did to me.  I am no longer afraid.  I am no longer insecure. The idea of me loving someone the way that i should so that in the end i wont be heartbroken will be thrown out from my life, for good.  I will be the best person I am because you deserve my best.  I will give you my all.  Because you are my all,  my everything. It saddens me when you're trying your best to be the best person while im holding back just because i think that you will leave me later on. Its like waiting for something that is unsure.  What if you dont leave me?  For sure i will be regretting the times that we had,  that i spent on being scared, being ungrateful.  And what if,  me being scared and insecure pushed you away?  No.  I dont want that to happen.  Ever.  

Dear husband. 

I love you.  

I will change. 

To be a woman. 

No longer a girl. 

Who is afraid of things that are uncertain. 

Im letting go of the past.  

You are my present.  My future.  

You are the best thing that have ever happened to me.  

You are the best husband that i could've asked for. 

Im thankful for what we have. 

Im thankful for us. 

Im thankful that you're still breathing .

Im thankful that you're by my side. 

I have everything that i needed when i have you. 

Not yet complete. But enough and thankful for the moment.  

I love you bear. 

Now,  let's hustle! 

Let's love! 

Let's miss each other when we're apart. 

Let's think of coming back home after a long day of work and really looking forward to be in each others arms,where it is safe and where we belong.

Never let anyone or anything comes between us.  

To the last man that i will ever love,  

I love you with all my heart. 

Words cannot express how much you mean to me. I wish i could make you see how amazing husband you are,  how amazing father you are and how amazing person you are.  Inside out.  Im thankful that you chose me to be your wife.  

You could've said no when i came back to you.

But you didn't.  Thank you for that too.  Hm i guess I'll  stop here.  I love you beary much,  forever and always,  my love.  

😭

0550-0638, 12/6/2020

And im on my period.  Thank you,  hormones. I dont know how will i act tomorrow.  Should i be giving you a hard time or being extra nice to you? We'll see.  😋 sleep tight my love.