9 years and counting ,

My child,  Carrying you this far (26 weeks) is a challenge for me but I'm not whining and I must say I have waited long enough to get pregnant again. The gap between you and Abang Yusuf is 5 years and I think that is long enough I couldn't wait any longer!! Mama and Dedi weren't trying to conceive during the first month of marriage. We got married on 11th September 2018 and we found out that we're pregnant on December at 6 weeks pregnant. Mama said to Dedi, I can't wait to be pregnant again, I miss those little kicks and wiggles in my belly. Oh my, I only thought of the beautiful journey of pregnancy without realising that it might be gloomy at some point. I'll get to that gloomy part soon. Before I took that pregnancy test, my body felt different even a week before I started to be fussy, craving for DURIANNNNN and feel uneasy when it comes to crowded place. Mama and Dedi went to JBR Bundle and I can't stand being inside that warehouse as I felt so stuffy...

Our family is growing! That makes 5 of us now. I'm down with first trimester as I'm writing this I am currently fourteen weeks preggers! That means I am 3 months 2 weeks preggers and my baby is the size of a peach! Let me tell you, it's not a walk in the park with this one. The day that I found out I'm pregnant, our lives changed completely. I took the test, waited for the result patiently and when the result came out, I whispered with a smile on my face.. positive. So it's time to break the news to my husband.  Sayang... with a sad face. Kenapa sayang? Macam mana? Positive.... Really? That's great!  Then we hugged and went silent for a while.  And I know why we went silent, we weren't ready for this. As much as we want to have a baby, we are aware that we are unstable, financially. Up till this day, I still ask him, are we ready to be parents? We. You and me. Me and him. Us. Before this, as a single parent, I have been living with my par...